They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. By this definition, I must be absolutely and utterly insane.
You see, I'm not the kind of person that learns easily. And by that I don't mean academic-type learning, because I've always loved school. Something about devouring new information, expanding on the world I already know and recognize is thrilling to me. No, my biggest issue seems to be never learning about myself, or from my mistakes. I'm the kind of person that seems to make the same mistake three times: Once because I didn't know any better, then because I'm too scared to take action, and finally because by this point I'm so used to making the same mistake over and over the pain of the consequences seem easier to handle than consequences of the unknown. But you can't move forward if you're stuck in the same spot. You never give yourself a chance to grow.
I have spent far too long letting others dictate my life: what I believe in, what I value, where I want to go in life, and ultimately, what kind of person I want to be. I've also wasted too much time blaming other people for never giving me the chance to figure those things out on my own. So, from this day forward I will hold myself accountable. No more making excuses for my actions. No more fear. No more "insanity". No more waiting for anyone else to save me. I may be my own worst enemy, but I'll be damned if I'm not my own hero too.
